Godzilla (left) and King Kong (right) about to fight, or, hear me out, kiss?

Yesterday, amidst desperate attempts to salvage the remains of our republic with Bernie Sanders photoshops and, to lesser effect, vaccines—a new potential savior entered the fray:

The trailer for Godzilla vs. Kong.

If you haven’t seen it yet, it’s worth a watch. Action-movie fans will love the various explosions and a thing Godzilla does where he turns on an iPhone flashlight from his mouth. Peak TV lovers will delight at the appearances of Seven, Paper Boi, and a tie-undone, sleeves-rolled-up so-you-know-he-means-business Coach Taylor. …

…Baby.

Last week, the world was given a brief reprieve from the murder hornet-infested dumpster fire that is 2020, when Drake and Lil Durk released “Laugh Now, Cry Later” and its accompanying s̶p̶o̶n̶s̶o̶r̶e̶d̶ ̶c̶o̶n̶t̶e̶n̶t̶ music video.

At first blush, the song and visuals seemed on par with recent Drake single efforts. Minimalist-leaning production, melodic-leaning vocals, and the typical excess you come to expect from a man whose COVID-friendly music video for Toosie Slide was a casual tour of his $100 million Toronto mansion.

But then, at precisely the 0:19 mark, Drake pulled his concept Maybach to a stop and looked…

Yes, I’d love to grab dinner Friday night! It will be so great to catch up. If I could just make one tiny request, and I swear you don’t have to plan around me, but I’ve recently switched to talking only about my plant-based diet.

Oh, you’ve already got a conversation topic planned? Totally not a big deal, I’m super chill about it. You know what? Let’s just stick with that conversation, and I’m sure I can find something to say. Worst case I’ll just stick to asides.

Honestly, you should try it! It’s much easier than you think. Like…

Leonardo: “Leads.”

  • While I appreciate your use of a concise, present-tense verb here, this needs more context. Who did you lead, and how did this leadership help your ninja clan achieve its ninja goals?
  • A good example: “Overseeing a team of four genetically-modified reptiles in mitigating the achievements of our ninja clan’s competition, namely the evil Shredder and his Foot Clan.”
  • A bad example: “Founder/CEO of Leonardo Ninja Services, LLC”

Donatello: “Does machines.”

  • Fluency with leading-edge technology is highly attractive attribute, and one not often found among ninjas. But “doing machines” is not nearly enough information here. Are you a…
Photo Credit: Lincoln Boehm

At approximately 6:30am on Saturday morning, Bushwick resident Lincoln Boehm found an In-N-Out burger—a Double-Double with onions, to be precise—laying on the ground one block away from the Jamaica, Queens LIRR station.

In the battle of the culinary coasts, New York City remains the undisputed champ in several all-important fat-plus-carbs categories, including pizza, bagels, and (now-defunct) 500-seat Guy Fieri-themed mega-restaurants. But one factor has always kept the West Coast one step ahead:

We don’t have an In-N-Out.

In fact, the nearest In-N-Out burger is 1,533 miles away, tucked snugly inside an outdoor shopping mall in the Dallas suburb of Allen…

Drake’s latest hit appears to be an ode to an ex-girlfriend. But could it actually be about an ex-mayor?

By all accounts, Drake and “Disgraced Mayor of Toronto” Rob Ford are casual acquaintances. Two of Canada’s most famous — and sometimes infamous—sons, linked by nothing more than their international notoriety. But what if their relationship was something deeper? What if Drake was, as is his habit, emotionally invested in the D.M.o.T’s well-being? And what if his biggest hit single, “Hotline Bling,” is actually a cry for help from a friend? Below, a lyrical investigation:

Dan Brill

Two-time Emmy loser. New Jersey apologist.

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